Welcome to Life

      Sometimes life decides to smack you in the face. Hard. And when you land on your butt, it kicks dirt on your face just to top it off. That was basically this past week. 

       I started out feeling on top of the world. I felt like the girl that made every guy's head turn and his jaw drop, who had wonderful friends who I could (and did) talk to all night, and who was entirely confident in her abilities to be successful. A week and a half later, I was stressed, pulled thin, confused, and reeling from one hit after another. 

         To begin with, boys are dumb. Really really really dumb. It's hard to get your heart broken, and its hard to break hearts. Its hard when your past returns and you aren't sure how to handle it. And its very hard when your head and your heart don't agree.

        All in favor of ditching boys, staying single forever, and going the test tube baby route, say, "Aye." (Cue chorus of frustrated women shouting "aye" in perfect and resounding union.) 

         That was life pushing me down. 

         Today my mother called me in a panic and informed me that because I was 1.5 credits short, I have likely lost my scholarship. My very large scholarship. So unless I can figure out a way to make something work, its gone forever. 

          That was the dirt in the face. 

          However, things aren't all bad. On Sunday, my teaching companion and I threw together a very last minute Relief Society lesson (we found out late the night before that we were teaching). Even though we put it together in about forty-five minutes, it was a huge success. The Spirit was very strong and I had several people approach me afterwards to tell me it was just what they needed. God is so good. 

          Also, I still have the best friends in the world. Even if I do keep staying up WAY too late talking to them. The girls I live with are so sweet and supportive, and they know exactly when I need a hug. Today I got to hang out with one of my best and oldest friends for an hour and a half. Rachel Struthers is one of the coolest people who has ever lived. I don't know what I would do without her. Yesterday, a Facebook post triggered a messaging conversation with a friend from high school that I haven't talked to for a while. We discovered that we are both dealing with some very similar problems. It has been so nice to find comfort in empathy. 

        I guess that's just how life is. We're brought very low, and we start to lose faith in ourselves and in all that is good. But if we look around long enough, we can still find things that make it bearable. It doesn't mean the problems go away. But it does make it easier to keep swimming. 

Update: I was able to get into a couple of 1-credit half semester classes and keep my scholarship. Yay!!! 

Poop and Other Stuff

          After I rolled out of bed and put on a bra and shoes, this is how my day began:

Mystery Poop

        On my way to breakfast, I passed this pile of scat outside of my dorm. It looked like deer poop to me, but I didn't think that made any sense. BYU is pressed right up to the mountains (which translates into an INCREDIBLE view), but I didn't think that deer would actually wander down into campus. I had never heard of it before. I later learned, on my way to class, that it was deer poop. Behold my iPod pictures of the poopers: 

        There were three of them that I could see. Most of the other people walked right past the deer without noticing them. It wasn't until I and one or two others started gawking and pulling out phones and iPods to take pictures that everyone else turned to see what was happening. The deer themselves didn't seem too concerned with the students. They didn't even look at us. Mostly they just posed for the cameras. Ducks and deer and students, oh, my! 

        A few hours later, as I passed this same spot, the deer were gone, but some guy was reciting the names of food. "Potatoes," he said as I walked by. "Salad............bread............corn............." He paused for about 4 seconds between each food. He wasn't talking to anyone or reading anything that I could see, or mumbling it quietly to himself as if reciting a memorized grocery list. He was just calmly naming foods, in a normal and clear voice, at equally spaced intervals. 

         College is weird. 

It's Time to Get Sentimental

            Once upon a time when I was thirteen or something like that, a friend of mine wanted to hang out. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the nasty business of cleaning my room first. So, being the good friend that she was, she came over to help me, and brought one of her friends along to help as well. For some incredible reason, the friend of my friend didn’t run for cover when she saw my room, and instead invited me to her birthday party.

And that is how I met my best friend.

           

            I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I believe that God gives us trials, allows for “coincidences,” and causes us to meet people because He knows that something good will come of it. So I know that God looked down and said, “Alyssa needs a best friend. I’m going to inspire Brianna to bring her friend—a girl who seems to be completely different in every way from Alyssa—to help clean Alyssa’s room.” Ladies and gentlemen, God works in mysterious ways. And hallelujah for that.

           

            God knew that in years to come, I would want someone with me to do all the silly things that teenaged girls do. I would want a companion in my weirdness, and someone to do girly stuff with, like paint my nails, learn how dress nice, do my hair, and gossip with about boys. I would want a friend to laugh with (because we have the same brand of “Sparknotes” humor) about things that other people wouldn’t understand. We have had some truly fun and fantastic times over the years. We have more inside jokes and happy memories than we can keep track of.

However, even more importantly, God knew that as we grew up, I would desperately need more than just a “fun” friend—I needed someone that would talk and listen about deep subjects as well as relatively superficial ones. He knew that it was important that I would have someone truly amazing as my best friend. He knew that I needed someone who would be completely non-judgmental, who would always be there for me, who would have empathy for my struggles, who would sneak out and risk getting in trouble (she did and I still feel bad) to come see me when I needed a friend, who would listen to me talk for hours on end, who would let me listen for hours on end, who I could trust with my secrets, who could tell me her secrets, who would forgive me, who could always lift my spirits, and who I could talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. God knew that as I discovered the harder things in life, I would need someone who could relate and who would always have my back.

            God is amazing. Somehow he created a chain of events that started way WAY back before either of us were born that would lead to a fantastic friendship. They say that a best friend is someone who knows everything about you and likes you anyway. That is exactly the way I would describe my best friend, Makayla Jensen.

           

Moral of the story: If a stranger sees your messy room and decides to invite you to her birthday party anyway, KEEP HER FOREVER. 

Your Daily Giggle

       It is important to laugh. Laughing feels good. I love laughing really loud and right from my gut. I love laughing with great people for so long that your abs hurt and you start to cry. I love trying to hold in a hysterical giggle, but it slips out anyway. I love when you try to tell a story, but you just can't because it's too darn funny. I love when something random in your day causes you to suddenly crack up, and you just can't wait to share whatever it was with someone. That last way to laugh is the reason for this post. Because I'm pretty sure laughter makes you live longer. And just in case you are having a bad day, I hope this makes it at least a little better.

Mewbacca

You Wish Your Life Was as Cool as Mine

Highlights of the past 24 hours. In no particular order:

1. Walk ahead of some guy whistling Pop Goes the Weasel.
2. Wake up at 5:30 AM to go the temple.
3. Listen to Best Day of My Life by American Authors. Repeatedly.
4. Wish my roommate would turn down the brightness on her computer screen BECAUSE ITS REALLY BRIGHT AND ITS 2 AM AND I CAN'T SLEEP AND WHY ARE YOU STILL WATCHING NETFLIX ANYWAY
5. Wear sweatpants.
6. Sit inside of a suitcase.

It's incredible how often I hear the sentence, "Hey, Alyssa, you're not very big, let's see if you can fit into this REALLY SMALL SPACE." Apparently the fact that I am 5' 9'' doesn't phase anyone. Including me, because just as often as I hear that sentence, I respond with, "HECK YES I CAN!!" And I do. And promptly remember that I'm claustrophobic.  

The plan was to dump the suitcase (with someone inside) in front of various doors on our floor, bang on the door and run, leaving the occupant of the room to discover a wiggling, noise-making suitcase. Danielle tried to fit inside first, because she is just as small as I am, but a little bit shorter. Her (amazingly glorious) hair didn't fit, so I heard the familiar sentence and shoved myself into the suitcase. As Becky zipped me up, I suddenly remembered my fear of small, dark spaces. "Guys....you have to promise to let me out when we're done. Okay? OKAY???" They didn't answer, and by that point, it was too late. 

I heard them pound on the door and run away, leaving me in the suitcase for someone to discover. When the door opened, I thrashed around and moaned and squealed inside the suitcase. We did this several times, and sometimes I would stick my hand out once the suitcase started to be unzipped and grab at the arms and legs of our prank-ee. The reactions (screaming, rolling eyes, horror stricken faces, etc.) were PRICELESS. We will be doing this again. :)  

This is Gonna Be

      I have lost track of how many times I've listened to this song. More than I should probably admit to. But I LOVE IT! It makes my day so much better when I listen to it. If I have the mentality that this is going to be a really great day, then that is exactly what my day is like. Listening to this song puts me in that mentality. I am officially making it my theme song for 2014.

My roommate is going to get very tired of this song..... ;)

The Space for Dreams

I came across this on Facebook and loved it. 

       It just goes so well with my New Year's theme, which, officially is "Every Day is A Special Occasion." But the underlying idea is to Be Fearless. I just used a fancy metaphor. If you read this post, you will understand the connection. 

       If you think about this quote, it really makes perfect sense. There is this normal space that we live in, and it's called The Comfort Zone. You've probably heard of it. The thing about it is that a lot of the time, we don't really want to be there. Not just because we have plans for something bigger and better, but also because it may not be a really comfortable  place to be. But there is a certain comfort that comes from the familiarity of The Comfort Zone. However, just because we are used to feeling a certain way, or being in a certain place in our lives--just because it is familiar, and therefore comfortable-- doesn't mean it is the right thing or the right place. We need to let go of whatever is holding us back--anger, self-doubt, past experiences, a grudge, fear--and allow God to take us to a better place in our lives. He will lead us, but He won't drag us where we refuse to go. 

          The Comfort Zone only allows for a small space of light and visibility. There is no room in that small space for dreams. The space for dreams is somewhere in the darkness of the unknown. It is in a place that can only be reached if we let go of our fears and of familiarity and instead take steps of faith. 

Titles Are Hard

      Today was my first day of my second semester of college!!! Yay!!! I love my family dearly, but I am SO HAPPY to be back in my dorm and back at school. I was bored beyond belief the past few days at home. It was so nice to go to class and learn and be productive. Also, my first class wasn't until 11, so I got to sleep in a little and take my time getting ready.
       I got a random surprise today as I was walking to one of my classes:

       I have no idea where they came from. But suddenly, there were ducks. And since I had a few minutes to kill before going to class, I took some pictures. They are crappy quality pictures because I used my iPod, but at least they are pictures. 

        And here are some more pictures just because this is my blog where I uselessly post things about myself without needing anyone's approval.

Sometimes, its late and my sister and I decide to play with a camera. This is what happens.

This is my sister. She's gorgeous.

This picture was a perfect accident.

Pig noses!

This one is my "glamour shot." Photo cred. Little Sis.

These are our "duck faces."

I have tried to replicate this face. It can't be done

We got tired.

      Obviously,we have too much fun when we should be sleeping. She is not a night owl, like me, so I'm surprised that she stayed up to hang out with me. 

        Anyway, I hope you (whoever you are. I don't really think there is anyone at this point....awkward.) enjoyed my random post of random stuff. 

Quote for the New Year

I happened upon this quote whilst browsing Pintrest, and absolutely LOVED it. This is a wonderful way to sum up what I hope for in 2014. 

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

― Neil Gaiman