Welcome to Life

      Sometimes life decides to smack you in the face. Hard. And when you land on your butt, it kicks dirt on your face just to top it off. That was basically this past week. 

       I started out feeling on top of the world. I felt like the girl that made every guy's head turn and his jaw drop, who had wonderful friends who I could (and did) talk to all night, and who was entirely confident in her abilities to be successful. A week and a half later, I was stressed, pulled thin, confused, and reeling from one hit after another. 

         To begin with, boys are dumb. Really really really dumb. It's hard to get your heart broken, and its hard to break hearts. Its hard when your past returns and you aren't sure how to handle it. And its very hard when your head and your heart don't agree.

        All in favor of ditching boys, staying single forever, and going the test tube baby route, say, "Aye." (Cue chorus of frustrated women shouting "aye" in perfect and resounding union.) 

         That was life pushing me down. 

         Today my mother called me in a panic and informed me that because I was 1.5 credits short, I have likely lost my scholarship. My very large scholarship. So unless I can figure out a way to make something work, its gone forever. 

          That was the dirt in the face. 

          However, things aren't all bad. On Sunday, my teaching companion and I threw together a very last minute Relief Society lesson (we found out late the night before that we were teaching). Even though we put it together in about forty-five minutes, it was a huge success. The Spirit was very strong and I had several people approach me afterwards to tell me it was just what they needed. God is so good. 

          Also, I still have the best friends in the world. Even if I do keep staying up WAY too late talking to them. The girls I live with are so sweet and supportive, and they know exactly when I need a hug. Today I got to hang out with one of my best and oldest friends for an hour and a half. Rachel Struthers is one of the coolest people who has ever lived. I don't know what I would do without her. Yesterday, a Facebook post triggered a messaging conversation with a friend from high school that I haven't talked to for a while. We discovered that we are both dealing with some very similar problems. It has been so nice to find comfort in empathy. 

        I guess that's just how life is. We're brought very low, and we start to lose faith in ourselves and in all that is good. But if we look around long enough, we can still find things that make it bearable. It doesn't mean the problems go away. But it does make it easier to keep swimming. 

Update: I was able to get into a couple of 1-credit half semester classes and keep my scholarship. Yay!!!