I'm like most other people when it comes
to New Year's Resolutions. I make them, get excited and do really well the
first week, and then get lazy and stop. So this year I figured that I just
wouldn't make any. After all, I usually come up with these resolutions a few
hours before the Ball Drop anyway and they aren't very well thought out. When I
make goals, they need to reflect my circumstances and my state of mind.
Otherwise I quickly lose motivation.
On Facebook earlier today, a woman that I
look up to posted that she didn't like to make New Year's Resolutions, but that
she had decided instead to have a theme for the year. Her theme is Hands. She said that
her focus would be what people do with their hands-- things like work, service,
or hobbies--and on noticing Heavenly Father's hand in her life and in the lives
around her.
The more I thought about her post and the
idea of a New Year's Theme, the more I liked it. Instead of narrow, specific
goals, it would be more about a way of life. It would be a frame of mind to
strive towards to make life more meaningful. I decided that I would try this
New Year’s Theme idea.
The theme that I came up with came out of
a fortune cookie that I got in Chinatown while I was in San Francisco
Every day is a special occasion.
For special occasions, I wear something
nice and put time into my hair and makeup. I feel pretty and confident. I feel
like smiling all the time. I feel like I can face the occasion with poise and
grace. I feel like my best self. I feel fearless.
I don’t feel fearless nearly enough. I worry.
A lot. I worry about the future and about how the present isn’t like I hoped it
would be or like the past was. I worry about big decisions and little decisions
and I worry about decisions after I’ve made them. I worry about people and
about what they think and what they expect. I worry that once I have what I want,
it won’t be what I hoped it was. I worry too much.
This is going to be a big year for me. I’m
going on an LDS mission this summer and I’ll be gone for 18 months. Before
that, I’ll be at BYU for my second semester of college. I will be spreading my
wings even wider and learning to fly on my own. A lot of changes have happened
to me over the past year and I hope that 2014 will be a time for me to learn
how to live with these changes and be happy about them. I am in such a
different place in my life than I was just twelve months ago. I don’t know if I
have ever lived a year that has ended so differently than it began. I’m sure
2014 will be just as transforming. I will need to be much more fearless this
year than I was last year.
I
learned a lot from last year, and I hope that because of it, I am strong and
wise enough this year to handle whatever comes my way with dignity and good
humor. I hope that I can take bold steps forward and let go of whatever is
holding me back. I hope I can move past my worry and into the darkness with a
leap of faith. I hope I can be fearless. And I’m going to live every day like
it is a special occasion.
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