"Can I Put On Some Real Clothes, Now?"

     This music video just about made my whole life. And I usually don't even like country music. It really applies to all genres of music, not just country, though. I am so sick of women being portrayed as ornaments and sex toys for men in music; both in the lyrics and the accompanying music videos. Women are people, not accessories.
     As well as making a great point, this video is totally hilarious, too. :)

Hurt

Hurt happens when things fall out of control 

Too fast and too far to catch 

Not that it stops me from reaching

I always reach. 

Even when I'm grasping at straws

Defining Feminism

         There seem to be a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a feminist. Some people think it means we hate all men, or are making up excuses to wear skimpy clothing, or that we are entitled whiners. There has been some disturbing buzz lately about "anti-feminism." I think these so-called "anti-feminists" are actually "anti-feminazis." What they don't understand is that feminism means something different to all of us, and all that they see are the extremists (who are loud, but few) I think if I were to sit down and talk to any of these anti-feminists, we would find that we agree on a lot of things, but only call it something different. Truthfully, being a feminist means something different to every person who is a feminist. For technicality’s sake, I have provided a definition of feminism from merriam-webster.com. This is about as official as it gets.  

     fem·i·nism noun \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\

: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities 

: organized activity in support of women's rights and interests

To me, being a feminist means that I, and every other women, should be treated with respect and dignity, and should be given the same rights and opportunities as men. It means women are human beings, and that is how we should be treated. According to that definition, this is why I am a feminist:  

1. I am not my appearance

In society, women are constantly told that we have to look a certain way. Our makeup must cover up any scars or freckles or spots. Our hair must be straightened or curled or bobby-pinned into perfection. Our waists must be thin, our boobs must be big, our hips must be just curvy enough to make us hour-glass shaped, but no more. Our clothing must be revealing to prove our confidence or to get attention. Et cetera, et cetera. The media teaches me to micromanage every visible aspect of my body, as if its only function is to be looked at and judged based on what it looks like. As if I am a hollow shell without a personality or a brain or talent or quirky characteristics.

There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, or doing your hair nicely, or carefully picking an outfit. Those things can even be fun and fulfilling. The danger is when you let these things define you, or when you care so much about them that more important things fall by the wayside. Likewise, the purpose of diet and exercise should be our health, not our figure. People come in a shapes and sizes, and that is OKAY.

Colbie Caillat's song, Try is absolutely amazing, and goes right along with what I'm saying.

2. I am not an object

     Have you ever noticed that in movies, television, books, magazines, and other media, being surrounded by beautiful (often scantily clad) women is a sign of success for a man? You never see a successful woman surrounded by sexy looking men. (In fact, a picture like that would bring to mind the word “slutty,” not “successful.” Do you see how ridiculous this is?!) How did women (aka human beings) become ornaments for men? 

    Again and again in the media, women are used to sell things. How many commercials have you seen where a woman is eating a cheeseburger or drinking a beer? She isn't there because she is a charismatic and persuasive salesperson. She has been objectified and cast as the part of a sex toy useful only to sell a product. 

Pornography is a pervading issue in our culture. Whether the pictures are of women, men, or children, they all degrade individuals to something less than human. People are seen as objects and images meant only to create a certain response in the viewers. That response has nothing to do with that “object” being a human with a personality.

I am not a thing to be ogled, regardless of what I wear. I personally believe in dressing modestly. I do it because of religious reasons. My body is a gift from God and I should guard it and treat it respectfully. I DO NOT do it so men can keep their thoughts pure. Whatever I wear, or whatever any woman wears, has no bearing on what goes on in a man’s head. He has his agency, and he can decide what thoughts to entertain. This does not mean I think it is okay to flaunt your cleavage in a guy’s (or anyone's) face if you know it will make him uncomfortable. He deserves respect, too.

3. No means no 

Rape and sexual assault are very serious problems. To be clear, I understand that these things are not something that only women deal with. However, it is a more prevalent issue for us. I fear for my safety every time I have to run to my car or walk home in the dark. I took a self defense class in college last semester. Most of my friends and family thought it was a smart move. A few of my male friends thought I was paranoid. This isn’t because they are bad guys. It’s just because they have the luxury of not knowing the fear I feel, because they have never felt it.  

One of the saddest things about rape and sexual assault is that women are afraid to report it, and when they do, they run the risk of unfair judgment. People will ask what she was wearing, or if she was flirting with him, and draw the conclusion that she asked for it. They will say that even if the rapist shouldn’t have done what he did, it was her fault. Hurting another person, especially in such an intimate way, is NEVER okay. If the woman said, “No,” or was unable to give consent, nothing else matters. She was raped, and it was the rapist’s choice, not hers.

4. I can be just as successful as a man

Women have been fighting for decades to break through the glass ceiling, and we have nearly made it. We have made huge leaps and bounds in the working world. I could choose to be a doctor or an engineer or a social worker, or whatever I want and work for. However, there are still a ton of prejudices against women. In politics, in sports, and in the workplace, women are constantly thought of as less competent than men, and their looks are brought up again and again as a measure of worth. This video is a great demonstration of the double standard that women face.

I'm not trying to say that we should erase all differences between men and women. Those differences are great things and should be celebrated. What I am saying is that different does not mean better or worse. Its just different. 

Women are often judged based on if they work or are a stay-at-home mom. Whether a woman chooses to have a career, a family, or both is her prerogative and her reasons are her business. She can be a powerful person in whichever case. 

Because I’m Mormon, and it has been a big deal lately, I feel like I should briefly address the women and priesthood thing: I think it’s a total non-issue. Or, rather, that the issue is people letting their pride get in the way of their faith and ability to understand. If you really want my whole spiel about it, talk to me personally. I just don’t think it’s even worth addressing here.
I would also like to point out that while in the United States, women largely have just as many rights and opportunities as men do, there are other places where that is not the case. For many women around the world, their rights extend about as far as do those of an animal. Feminism isn't just a movement for first world countries. It is a humanist movement meant to bring to light and improve the situations of oppressed women around the world. 

5.     I like being a woman

 If you have never seen this video, you need to. I love doing things #LikeAGirl. Because I AM a girl and there is nothing wrong with that. Why is being a sissy something bad and being a man something good? Nothing is wrong with being a girl, so why are words used to describe women also used as insults? 

6.     I am human

I sincerely apologize for the language in this cartoon, but it does explain feminism very well.  

            I refuse to be a victim. I am a strong adult human being who is proud to be a woman. Everyone- no matter who they are, where they come from, how they live, how old they are, or if they have even been born yet- should have the right to be treated with respect and dignity. I believe that we should show Christ-like love to all of our brothers and sisters. I believe in respect and love for others, and not judgement and hatred. THAT is why I am a feminist.